– Workers leave their bosses, not their companies
Date: February 7th (Sunday) – Time: 23:45
I find it hard to sleep. I am nervous. Tomorrow I start my new job and the excitement prevents me from relaxing and falling asleep.
I know that this is the greatest opportunity of my life. After the master’s degree and the Erasmus in Leuven I feel ready to give it my all. The salary is not extremely far but I’m sure that such an important company will help me to develop.
In any case, a new stage in this game called «life».
Date: February 8th (Monday) – Time: 21:20
Today was my first day at work. My boss’s name is Luis, and he is genuinely nice. As soon as he saw me, he made a joke about my shoes because they didn’t match the suit. Ha ha ha. How funny he is!
I’m sure I’ll learn a lot from him.
I don’t know much about the rest of my colleagues, because they just welcomed me and went back to work. Some are same age as me, and there’s a girl I’ve already kept my eyes on. Let’s see if we all can enjoy a late-night drink soon.
I feel very lonely.
Date: February 12th (Friday) – Time 20:40
I haven’t been able to write all week. I will see if I can summarize what has happened to me.
I am fine with this job. I can feel that I am being appreciated because I have more and more duties. Today, for example, I had to leave at 3 p.m. and the boss asked me to stay a little longer to finish his presentation of Monday. He and everyone else left, but I didn’t care because the boss only trusted me with his presentation.
The week has been good although I hardly see my boss. On Monday he told me the tasks for the week, and I haven’t seen him since then. I hope I have done things well because I have not been able to ask anyone since they were all very concentrated in their respective duties.
Date: February 15th (Monday) – Time: 23:15
Phew! I just got home. What a long day. I couldn’t even eat but a doughnut.
Luis got angry with me because he said that the presentation I designed for him wasn’t perfect. He said that it was made without interest, and that’s not true. It annoyed me but I preferred to keep quiet to avoid upset him anymore. Then I tried to talk to him to sort out the situation, but he told me to share my feelings with Marcos, my senior colleague.
I stayed longer in the afternoon to compensate my mistake. I hope he appreciated it. Let’s see tomorrow.
I am so sleepy that I see double. I’m going to bed.
Date: February 16th (Tuesday) – Time: 22:18
I am very tired. I woke up at 4 in the morning and couldn’t sleep anymore. I was very nervous, and I was worried that I would be reprimanded like yesterday.
I feel very lonely. I find it difficult to integrate with my colleagues and it is because everyone is doing their own without paying attention to the others. Every time the boss appears, they become quiet and only looks at their screen.
Today, Ramón was scolded because Luis was calling him and hadn’t the phone well hanged up. But Luis did not believe the excuse and threatened him with a file. It was very unpleasant.
I am so sleepy that I see double. I’m going to bed.
Date: February 22nd (Monday) – Time: 21:18
I started the week worse than I finished the previous. I spent the weekend working at home and almost being unable to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart beating fast.
This morning I threw up my breakfast before leaving home.
When I arrived Luis called me to his office and asked me to explain a complaint from a client. But he wasn’t my client. I’ve ever taken care of him. I am sure it was Marcos’, but I didn’t say anything. Today he warned to fire me for not passing the trial period.
When I left his office, I was so outraged that I felt like crying. I tried to clarify the issue with the client with Marcos, but he said he had nothing to say to me.
I barely ate. But I’m not hungry. I won’t even eat dinner.
Date: February 25th (Thursday) – Time: 21:08
I feel bad. I have a hard time getting up in the morning. Usually when I get closer to the office, I feel afraid. Sometimes I think to turn around and run away.
I can’t cope with Luis and brown-nose Marcos. They both make my life a nightmare. Today they made fun of my master’s degree. But didn’t they hire me because of it? I don’t understand anything.
I asked Luis to let me go on holiday for whole Easter week. He answered (without looking up from his keyboard) that he would tell me something tomorrow. I don’t know, I’m expecting anything.
Date: February 26th (Friday) Time: 21:54
As I expected, Luis told me that I cannot go on holiday, that there is a lot to do. But the truth is that almost everyone is leaving, and I have the right to a holiday period. He replied that this is how things are in his department and if I don’t like it, I should know what to do, as Rocío did.
Rocío has been with us for six months and lately she hasn’t stopped crying. She goes to the bathroom so that we don’t see her, but she comes back with irritated eyes. Today she said she prefers to be unemployed. She can’t stand it anymore.
Luis then came to us and said that his department is no place for weak workers. Marcos laughed.
My stomach hurts. I’m going to take an infusion.
I can’t bear it any longer.
Date: March 8th (Monday) Time: 20:36
Yesterday I had lunch with my mother, and she told me that I looked unwell. I told her it was because we have a peak workload, but it’s not true. I feel awfully bad and today I was the one who cried in the bathroom.
I can’t bear it any longer. I can’t cope any more with Luis and Marcos. It’s 10 hours a day of torture.
I’m going to see if Easter comes and they take a holiday and come back changed.
Date: March 10th (Wednesday) – Time: 15:03
This morning I had a panic attack at work. They took me to the doctor and sent me home afterwards. He said I had much anxiety and asked me delicately if I was taking drugs.
My mobile is ringing now, I have a call from the office. It must be to take an interest in my health.
I just got a call from Luis, my boss. He said that if I am in a condition to work from home. I hanged up the phone.
Date: March 11th (Thursday) – Time: 08:50
I have just called the office to start the procedures for my voluntary departure. I am leaving my job. I can’t take it anymore.